First time Headlining Comedy Works Downtown!

March 25th!

Here is the ticket link use Promocode Metal at Checkout for all my friends and family discount. Lets fill this room with psychos and talk about space!

Other dates coming up

Kansas St. Patty’s Day Weekend.

March 11th Just For Laughs Showcase at Comedy Works South.


Super stoked and excited to announce I will be at The LA Comedy Club at The Stratosphere Hotel. April 23-29th.


We are working on tour dates in and around that date in legal weed states to support the book release for “Now You Know, Now What?”


Patreon is up and running and Whiskey and The Surfer is Back!


After an arduous hiatus the algorithms and I have returned for more content content content MOTHERFN CONTENT!

Join the Patreon

4 Levels

Listen Free on iTunes

$1 get 1 bonus episode a week

$5 get all bonus content including Whiskey and The Surfer

$9.99 get all bonus content plus a monthly fanzine, extras and the Phone Number Club.

Verified on Spotify!

Stoked to be able to announce all my stand up, hardcore and metal can be found for free on Spotify.

New Clips, On The Road in November!

Heading to NV, OR, ID, WA, OR on The I’m glad no one in LA thinks I’m talented tour as it continues through out the end of the year.





I’m sure there was a way I could have done this on this computer that looked better but I totally forgot I own this website. womp mfn womp womp.

Anyways new album

18 tracks 45 minutes despite iTunes calling it 44 minutes, HOW FN DARE THEY.

Anyways, its the hands down the most fun I have had doing stand up in the past year and was recorded at The Joke Joint in St. Paul MN.

Screenshot 2017-07-29 at 1.38.33 PM

Pentacost of Living

I’ve got confession today so I’m jamming out to Fleetwood Mac and reveling in the passing of yesterday.
I smell like sunscreen, my fourth Keurig sits in my gut like an upper cut in a Bus Fight Video.
I am
and celebrating almost a year of No Booze or Sobriety as I call it and my 40 Thousandth just birthed its way into the notes section of the phone that I avoid all day by “being busy”.  I have a due date that is beyond manageable and each day the pages fly to the point where I am physically tired in a way I have not yet experienced in music or stand up.
To be honest I’m just stoked to have my health, the love of my life, family, buddies and a Summer full of plans and vacations, tours and two perfect homes to work from and use these resources to delve into my relationship with God through Jesus.
That being said,
I missed My First Friday Devotion and was reminded today that yesterday was the day and I had blown it. I carry two calendars on me at all times, paper and electronic, my Rosary and Divine Mercy Meditation now with Special Intentions to both St. Jude and St. Benedict I was crushing Day 9 of the Pentacost Novena which I was receiving via email from two different email providers. Add to that talking to my girl and parents, roommate, all who have Faith first in their lives and not a mention of First Friday.
Swung on and a miss
I can break down the Seth Rich Conspiracy, machine rigging and illegal charitable foundations aiding Terror as an assault on the Fourth Amendment to take down the First and Second and rewrite our Constitution to reflect the Pre EU 2 that this Nation will divide into based on fear driven politics and entertainment.
We need to centralize power to control Data as AI sheds its human cocoon and leaves the masses clamoring for morsels of sustenance and a way to plug back in once the economy is conveniently re-flush, reset and redistributed as the Elderly are used as human ATMs to finance the price to have to pay to have their voice silenced in trade for their antidotes for cancer and malaise are priced beyond their dreams so why bother.
The circus is in town, so grab a shovel.
I am frankly bored with Kathy Griffin, Bill Maher and the rest of the Distraction Wing of our Weaponized Entertainment as they force the red blue right left yes no illusional paradigm as the masses heard themselves into their final tribe.  Its cannibalism and sad yet refreshing to watch the media feast on itself as they bring the Christians and Lions through our various devices hand selected like an echo driven Pandora feeding us shovel fulls of nonsense as we point  Fingers at the prize staring at us from the top shelf of the Soak The Hitler Carnie game we’ve managed to bet our maxed out future on.
Now you know.
Giving up social media has been a refreshing look at society. Gone are the tirades, the validation seeking, the desperate replaced with real people in real lines in reality. All needing a merciful break in their day to day to get them to have enough Hope to continue. I rarely see real anger in my day to day weavings through the bowels, alleys and tree lined sanctuaries of LA.
I don’t see it in lines at stores or out in nature which doesn’t surprise me that our digital selves would to choose to live and operate from the illusion of certainty in our subconscious.
But here it is.
What happens when its not part of your world?
Strip away alcohol and trap dissipates and you see around you and you strip away the illusion of digital opinion and ad driven anger long enough to count your blessings. It’s free to die and free to be thankful and time is money so we always have what we
truly need.
Our thankful breath moving forward as a foundation of our Faith to pity the desperate acts of Celebrity attempting to move the needle of their worth as the latest scandal  further divides.
People screw up, Forgiveness is the only answer. The words matter in the disaster as much as they do in clean up and we shouldn’t judge the apology, we should celebrate  the Truth in its attempt.
When our judgements start to limit what can and can’t be said in a heartfelt apology then in that space we find ourselves the freedom of speech we ultimately require to Submit to The Will of God in celebration of His Love as we navigate this demon driven Death Cult we call Hyper Capitalism.
Now you know.
Grab more sunscreen, its gonna get a lot hotter than you could ever imagine.
GOD BLESSdivine-mercy




AI Driven Online Persona Post 1 in the New Willennium. Whiskey and The Surfer show up with Technical Difficulties and smile and dial their way through the new CA Law to Centralize Truth per The Government Guidelines and these Nere-do-well Sexist Racist Liberals are lining up to see who is gonna sell Yoga in the new FEMA Camp.

Butt silicone goes wrong, Cops shoot a guy over a Caulking Gun and we talk about The Real News, The Real Fake News and The Good News as we prepare for the Final Push into Armageddon, are you physically able to outlast the first 30 days of Darkness. We jam out to 369, BRUNO MARS, MOTLEY CRUE, COLIN OF ARABIA, FLOORPUNCH, BOB SEGER, EDDIE MONEY.
LEN Steals our Sunshine and CUT UP debuts a new jammer to be the cascading wave of Cardio Dreams which will save you and your loved ones. PREPARE NOW.
All Social Media are run by AI, disconnect and try The New Experiment.




Nancy Pelosi has a frown off to win her next job as The Trump Train continues to roll inside of the Digital Simulation. Whiskey and The Surfer, fresh off of Ash Wednesday, they wonder if the Adam’s Family has a Tennis Coach, what is that 4 mile wide creature in the Pacific, Is Oprah training to be our next CZAR and more!
SIR MIXX ALOT an his posse are racing against LANA DEL RAY, FRANKLIN FUENTES and LA GUNS.  A woman kills a guy over a PotRoast, Fraternities go wild in Trump’s America and we rage with WARBRINGER, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES, KILLING TIME and not before we break our single day vocal record with THE DOOBIE BROTHERS and Start an All Obama Pro Weed Michael McDonald Coverband called The Doobie Birthers.
FERGILICIOUS lets us know the algorithms are flossin on Crenshaw as we spend our Lenten Season jamming out to BILLY IDOL, talking about SEX ROBOTS, Digital Orgies, LA’s new TRUMP Based SATANIC Church and ACE FREHLEY asks which Side of the Coin we have to give to GENE.
Did I mention we were Molested by the TSA twice in two hours at LAX? Did I mention Austin TSA workers stealing guns and selling them for Weed? Did I mention some Ne’re-Do-Well who wants to cut off his jack and become the boneless Alien strong enough to singlehandedly fight Trump’s Wall? Did I mention humanity is Doomed and none of this is real?




BROH we are hopped on Kerova Edibles, generic day and ny’re-do-quil as we run a digital stake out on some Warlocks and Witches preparing for the coming war between Luby’s and Furr’s.

The world fistfights around the dinner table using porkchops and pot pies while DJ Phantom throws us MADBALL, FULL OF HELL, and CANNIBAL CORPSE.

Witches prepare to cast a spell on Trump so we jam with THE CULT, BON JOVI, FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS, RED VELVET and HANNAH MONTANA to counter balance the fear of Nuclear Fallout killing the seed vault, guaranteeing famine forces the migration of non SLAYER fans forced to decide between NWA, HOUSE OF PAIN and EMINEM.

WHITE LION tells us to wait and see how worse Sweden gets as the Generic Nyquil has us transfixed on Trump’s 7 brand new Planets and Project Veritas hires citizen NARCS to film teenagers bumrushing COPS.

BAD BOYS RUNNING WILD, we jam out to CHICAGO and CHRISTOPHER CROSS and run into the Future of an AI PRISON. Disconnect when we tell you too. None of this is real, we live in a computer.